I found the following quote from Sigmund Freud today….but not in an academic book — in a meditation book.
“A holiday is a permitted –or rather a prescribed –excess, a solemn violation of a prohibition.”
So what’s the psychology in that quote? Well, think about how you feel when you give yourself a break from your routine. And think about what you consider a break in routine other than an extended vacation away from home and work. Things like sleeping in; a late leisurely lunch with a friend or family member in the middle of a typical work week; permission for a forbidden food splurge; a long phone conversation with a friend who has moved out of town; movies in the middle of the day; skipping the daily meditation and exercise I am always recommending… those are “solemn violations”–at least a few simple ones.
The meditation I read suggests we are fearful of stepping out of our routines, of breaking the rules. I certainly hear that concern from clients: “if I get off track I won’t/can’t get back on.” And here’s my confession: I actually do –sometimes — worry about taking a break from my regular exercise. So WHAT can that worry stem from? I’ve been an athlete most of my life, and I exercise close to every day. So what’s the source of a thought that speaks of fear of getting out of that routine? For me it’s deeply ingrained in early childhood messages about discipline around almost everything! And you can see I have not “eliminated” the thoughts and messages. I HAVE learned to pay attention and quiet the thoughts quickly so I don’t “make myself miserable.”
So I’m suggesting you think of it differently instead of critically. Use the choice to step out of your routine as a different view of yourself and your world — as a different lens for your camera — a change in perspective. The key is to THINK about it. Pay attention. So rather than beating yourself up when you do something “off routine” consider how you feel when you give yourself a break. What are the benefits? What do you see that you typically miss even looking at, let alone reflecting on….it’s not intended to be overly profound –it’s just a deep breath, something different, and an insight into the possibility that staying “on the treadmill of life” is not the best thing for you! Regardless of circumstances, the pause is always a good thing.
And just in case you are interested in my “source” — it’s The Promise of a New Day…. that’s a book of daily meditations from the Hazelden meditation series….