This last week a client said,”It’s like I have my finger in an electrical outlet! I get frantic and worried about how much I have to do, or places to go, or parties or events, and I’m already running around too much and spending too much money?” Then the next thing — a bad question: “Why do I do this?”
Sound familiar? Any part of it ring a bell? Start first, with the right question…”What’s specifically going on? What is different now that holidays are here?” If any of you have read my book — WHAT’S WRONG WITH ME? MAYBE NOT THAT MUCH! you know that bad questions move you in the wrong direction — to self blame and self criticism, and to simply giving in to the negative thoughts circling in your head…. AND if you feel bad enough about yourself though all the negative thinking, you do more of what you want to stop doing — spending and eating and drinking too much — and running from one thing to the next but just not feeling satisfied….
STOP — even if for just 10 minutes. Sit down in a quiet spot at home or maybe at work. Take a breath. OR two or three! If you’ve read any of the relaxation and meditation blogs, you’ll remember these ideas. First, check your body. It only takes a minute. What’s going on physically? High or low energy? Pain, tension, discomfort? Anxious energy? See where you hold tension in your body — forehead, neck, shoulders, lower back, legs or arms? Maybe you constantly move some part of your body, like a foot. All you are doing is paying attention. Register that you are physically stressed. Take another breath and see if you can relax even just a little.
Next, check your thoughts. What’s right in the foreground? money, time, people, obligations, health…. see what’s worrying you. If you have time, write down some of the thoughts. You are only capturing what’s going on. Not problem solving.
Next check your feelings. Are you sad, angry, scared, maybe even happy? Just pay attention.
Finally, see if the spiritual dimension of your life is OPEN OR CLOSED…..do you have a sense of something greater than you….or do you feel a bit up rooted, like missing an anchor?
This is just a temperature check. You can do it in as little as 5 minutes if you don’t have 10. And if you do it several times a day you will feel more in touch with YOU…..what you are feeling physically and emotionally, what you are thinking, and if the larger spiritual meaning of this holiday season is with you or NOT……It’s just paying attention. Once you pay attention and have an idea of what’s going on, you can make choices and decisions about slowing down, identifying your priorities for the next couple of weeks, doing what feels generous and loving, and good for you and those around you.
This is potentially a wonderful time of year. See if you can slow down, pace yourself, enjoy your family and friends and YOURSELF….. do less STUFF and more connecting. LOOK at people. Feel your feelings. Try telling people what you like or love about them. Be focused on the moment……. Be grateful for the good in your life. And have a relaxing, loving holiday.