Several clients have asked me to answer questions about the women who survived ARIEL CASTRO’s sick and disturbing behavior, and, in court, his “defense of himself.” I was interview by Bill Grady on KMBZ with questions about his efforts to explain himself, and that prompted a few additional questions.
First, I’m not certain I have answers. I do know that I am inspired and impressed with the good self care of the three women — the community support, the efforts of the press and others to provide them the space to heal, and the assistance to help them re-build their lives after 11 years of hell. I also have high praise for the professionals who have been involved in their recovery. This level of psychological, physical, intellectual and spiritual trauma is one of the most challenging things for any of us practicing psychology/psychiatry to imagine working with….and working with it effectively. And as a quick professional aside, when faced with a trauma in your own life, ask for help, and make certain the help is skilled and experienced and effective!
Hopefully this level of tragedy gives each of us the opportunity to examine the grief and loss and multitude of challenges in our own lives. Everyone faces difficulty and the need to feel, allow, grieve is a process that allows each individual to heal. As I’ve been thinking of this today, I’ve come across an excellent article in the opinion section of the TIMES by MARK EPSTEIN… titled THE TRAUMA OF BEING ALIVE. It’s based on his forthcoming book –THE TRAUMA OF EVERYDAY LIFE. I am anxious to read it. And I suggest you at least glance at the article…. we need to see grief as NORMAL….as something each of us much face.
And that brings me to Castro…..my only possible explanation for his defense of his behavior is that he’s perhaps beginning to see the extent of the horrific behavior he engaged in. If there is no INTERNAL recognition on his part, he is obviously exposed to the EXTERNAL response of all those around him — the descriptions of what he did, has to penetrate somewhere and produce fear and trauma of his own. If he truly does not think he did anything so terrible (and apparently he has said that), then his own belief, in severe contrast to what others believe, creates extreme dissonance.
The minute each of us experiences cognitive dissonance, we do something to resolve it….typically that is a defense of self — of whatever the behavior, the statement, the decision. That is the most basic answer I can come up with to take a guess at his lengthy defense of himself in court. The dissonance creates the defense.
But what about the horrible offenses? Are there explanations for such behavior? Did childhood sexual abuse produce decisions to torture others? All of us are influenced by the way we grew up, by parenting. However, millions of people growing up in abusive homes turnout to be amazingly fine human beings. Sadly the only way to finally reach some understanding of the behavior of this man will come from whatever professionals decide to study, perhaps interview, and thus attempt to describe what “created an Ariel Castro.”
The main thing is to focus instead on the power of healing for the three survivors. Remember they are not victims…And all of them have apparently made that distinction. Another sign of the healing that is necessary. We need models for surviving…. and for what EPSTEIN describes as the trauma of being alive.