Once in a while I recommend a book before I’ve finished reading it! This is one of those times. But grab this book and start taking notes.
My personal confession is: I read the first two or three chapters of most books on business/leadership/organizations. But this is a must read from front to back. In addition to providing an easy to understand look at Givers — Makers — Takers and reciprocity, it is extremely well researched. And Grant appears to live what he suggests and researches. Impressive. There’s an article about him/his work in the Sunday NY Times Magazine March 31st issue…. reading that caused me to order his book pre-release.
As you read this book, you can get a good “handle” on yourself; on your colleagues and family and friends. I personally believe that each of us has a responsibility to be as mindful as possible of ways to make this a better world. Helping others is key, and Grant’s research and writing helps put that into perspective for personal analysis, motivation, and action.
Since I’m still reading, I’m imagining there are sex differences in the relevance of the material …I’ve emailed Grant to ask him about his findings about male/female differences…The challenging variable for many if not most women, is to be a giver in ways that are not harmful to SELF. Being a giver is good and healthy unless you feel angry and resentful when doing so. THAT is not giving. It is codependence. It is harmful to self and to the relationship. If you’re not familiar with these concepts, I’ll eventually do a blog on it. AND you can always read my book. OR visit the recovery/codependence section of your favorite bookstore and select from a vast array of titles available on the subject.
There is a somewhat complex underlying psychology in how you feel, function, DO around giving. If you decide to sacrifice for another because you want to, because you decide clearly to do so, it’s a great gift to both you and the other person. If you do it because you are afraid not to, or that you will fail to get something YOU want from the other person — even as simple as their approval of you– then you are in the wrong emotional space in your head!
If this information sparks a question, just email me. I’m happy to help in any way I can….OH, and don’t forget
Grant’s book …it’s good!!