Yes! The because of that question?…. You can be enormously intelligent/posses a really high IQ and continue to make major mistakes or miss-steps in your personal and work relationships if your emotional intelligence is not developed.
And can it be developed? I believe so. Try answering these questions to start assessing your own level of EI….Consider rating your answers on a scale of 1 to 10…1 represents “I need a lot of improved awareness and perhaps help. … and 10 represents “I’m experiencing great success”
– How aware are you of your own and on-going thoughts, feelings, and behaviors as you go through the day, interacting and working with others?
-How aware are you of the impact you have on those you interact with — in personal and work relationships?
-How aware are you of the thoughts, feelings, behaviors of the individuals you interact with….how well do you pay attention?
-How aware are you of the interactions, the behaviors, the decisions/choices of the larger group you interact with…that can be your work environment or your family or your circle of friends, or a meeting with a group you volunteer for.
Those are my questions. To go into even more detail, here’s a summary of a few basics of EI from the Hay Group:
-know your feelings and use them to make life decisions you can live with
-manage your emotional life without being hijacked by it — or paralyzed by depression, worry, anger
-persist regardless of setbacks/pursue your goals regardless of unforeseen barriers
-express/experience empathy in your interactions without being told what the other person is feeling
-handle feelings in relationships — read the “pulse” of a group — with skill and accuracy
If you want to do a quick measure of EI with a questionnaire, the Hay Group has one on line. You can take it and get an immediate score and a ranking of how your score compares to others taking the inventory.
For further reading, check out two Daniel Goleman books: EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE. And SOCIAL INTELLIGENCE
Know, too, that you can always ask me questions and/or see if I have information about resources in your area. Always ask for help when you need it!