• HOW DO YOU DEAL WITH "NOT KNOWING?" HOW DO YOU FEEL WHEN YOU DON'T KNOW?

    HMMM.  I imagine the variation in answers to either question is significantly wide ranging!  When I reflect on the thoughts and questions of clients and friends and colleagues who are really touching the most authentic aspect of feelings, typical responses have to do with fear.  Simply put, not knowing makes many of us fearful.  There is a sense of being out of control; of no idea of what to do, where to go, what to feel in order to lessen the anxiety that many have about “not knowing” and of the feelings that come with not knowing.

    However, the wonderful exception is being excited in a positive way.  Seeing not knowing as an opportunity to learn, to grow is perhaps a healthier response?  At least it’s a response that will generate a better set of decisions and direction. And it’s likely that most people have both fearful and excited reactions.  So maybe it’s a good “psychological test.”  When/what was the last “not knowing” that excited and motivated you.  See how much detail you can recall and write about it.

    Next, when/what was the last “not knowing” that frightened you, stopped you in your tracks?  Again, see how much detail you can recall and write about it.  Hopefully the writing/journaling will trigger additional memories.  I’ve had many clients successfully discover a pattern that then becomes useful for stepping out of fear and discomfort — even feeling more adventuresome in  conversation and decisions and choices for new directions. It’s about exploring “comfort zones” and paying close attention when you realize you are stepping outside YOUR comfort zone — when you SEE it you can sometimes choose to make it an adventure.

    I’m thinking of this today because I saw an interview with Ray Dalio on CNN’s morning GPS program.  Dalio manages the worlds biggest hedge fund of 169 Billion dollars… Yes, that’s BILLION.  He basically said he welcomes the “fear of not knowing” … and using that, if I understood him accurately, to work “toward” knowing, figuring it out.  He’s challenged and excited.

    So listening to him I realized I stepped right into what I call a “frozen zone” in my own thinking.  That just means, for me, I have stopped!  And I realize several things:  I have trouble grasping what would be involved in that level of managing money; I know without a doubt that I have no knowledge or skill level to truly comprehend what the details of his thinking, working might be about; and I further know that I have zero interest in acquiring the information or knowledge that would be necessary to grasp “all that.”  Consequently his “level of fear” reminded me that fear is indeed a source of personal reflection and learning about the self and the situation(s) you live in.

    I was intrigued by Ray Dalio, and I did have several thoughts beyond his obvious knowledge and his enthusiasm for his work:  he looked tired and stressed! And in spite of that, he sounded excited and energized by what he does.  Motivated.  (As an aside, It does help to remember that positive experiences and changes also cause stress!)  And just in case any of us want to learn more about basic economic principles, he has a website.  It’s economic principles.org.  Likely worthy of a view!

    Maybe the basic take away is:  fear can genuinely motivate vs stop us!  See what you think, what your experience is.

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