You have perhaps seen countless TV spots or blogs or videos shared by the famous (and sometimes not so famous) labeled NOTES TO MY YOUNGER SELF.
So this is simply a suggestion, that if you have not already given the idea a bit of thought, it’s truly a lovely, helpful, sometimes quite therapeutic exercise. It obviously involves sitting down and writing — one of those things I genuinely believe is life changing. And it involves quiet, reflection, and a fairly signifiant review of the past. And for some, that takes a lot of courage. Regardless, it’s worth it.
If this a totally new concept, or you know about it but haven’t considered trying, here’s a way to start.
-Get comfortable in a place you know you won’t be disturbed for a while.
-Relax and spend just a few minutes doing some deep breathing.
-Visualize yourself as a child….just let a picture develop in your mind — any age is fine. Trust what pops up. Maybe it’s an image of you at 6 or 10 or 15 or even early 20’s. Our minds typically zero in on a time of importance, whatever the reason.
-Think about what you wish you had known at that point in time and just begin to write. You can make a basic list of ideas, beliefs, concepts, advice, feelings or write in any form that just comes from your pen onto the paper.
-Consider crossroads and turning points in your life — and perhaps what you might have done differently if you’d had different advice — or any advice at all.
-If/when you encounter mistakes you believe you’ve made, tell that younger self what you wish you had known. And make sure you let the younger self know that she/he did the very best possible with the information available!
-Write until you have nothing more coming to mind.
-THEN see how you can apply what you told your younger self to YOU today. It will be relevant.
-Another way to reflect is to ask: “I wonder how I’d feel, what my direction would look like if I had known _________________”
This is not an exercise about regret. It’s about affirming where you have been, the choices you’ve made, and most important, the choices you now want to make TODAY. Most of the time we do the best we can. And regardless of today’s circumstances, most of us will see things we’d like to change or enhance or hopefully, truly affirm the direction we’re headed.
Here’s a personal example that might help. I would tell my younger self to “pay attention” and to take time to reflect and find quiet time. Because? I was so externally focused — trying hard, studying hard, and paying attention to OTHERS and what they wanted from me, that I am curious about what I missed! And since so much of what I suggest to others is about paying attention, about quiet and focus, I wonder if or how much of my own young thoughts and desires were somehow over shadowed……and that simply serves as a reminder of how essential it is to pay attention right now!
Try taking some time with this idea. And consider it’s something you can do more than once. And if you want to share your thoughts, just let me know!