If you’re convinced you are right — about FEMINISM? GAY MARRIAGE? ABORTION? GUN CONTROL? Or ANY QUESTION/ISSUE
First answer these questions…..
-How important is it for you to be right? What’s at stake for you? Take your temperature on the “right scale.” 0=not at all important and 10= totally important
-What would you “get” if you are right? Or how would it impact your life/well-being to be right?
-Do you feel “stuck” in your declaration of right? Measure by seeing if your jaw feels “set” or your shoulders are tight or your heels are “dug in.”
-How will you being right impact others?
-Has the conversation broken down? Or was there/is there an argument?
-If the conversation or relationship is tense because of you needing to be right, do you want to “fix it?” Do you want to resolve the conflict?
(This last question is important because believe it or not, lots of people like to fight and disagree! Just watch TV pundits and politicians……)
A SUGGESTION…..
If you want to resolve the differences between you and the other person/people on the issue on the table, use DR. LINDA MOORE’S 1% SOLUTION. Go back into the conversation/conflict with the idea there is a 1% — and only 1% possibility that you are wrong.
OH, and first, don’t forget to congratulate yourself on BEING RIGHT….as well as how smart you are because you know you are right! Then proceed with the idea there’s that 1% possibility…..you will be amazed at the outcome in your own head…. Things loosen up. You listen more effectively. You might even hear a thought or idea you missed in the “last round” you had on the subject.
And if you are, in fact, RIGHT….your willingness to listen will help the other person see how right you are…. and perhaps, just perhaps, head things in the direction you want things to go….just remember what your mother taught you and “play fair.”
And since people ask me questions regularly about the issue of “being right,” I will give you some extra hints on the subject next time….