When the calendar tells us it’s almost a NEW YEAR, most of us begin to think about all the changes we want to make for a fresh start …..to turn over a new leaf; finish all the undone tasks; be more organized; actually to be the best version of ourselves.
If you are a person who sets goals, makes resolutions, try adding doing so by being fearless — just see if anything changes if you add this sentence to what you contemplate and put on paper …..
I AM NOT AFRAID TO……..
Typically, fearless attitudes surface the things that we yearn for, dream about, fantasize about and eventually shift and tell ourselves the dozens of reasons the idea is unrealistic, or impossible, or impractical, or too expensive, too risky…. on and on…
This suggestion is NOT about throwing caution “to the wind” …. rather to surface those unrealized dreams and to test what really MIGHT BE possible or what small or even medium version of the unrealized dream MIGHT BE REALISTIC. The reality is you have to stop pushing the dreams aside. Capture them on paper even if you don’t believe a fraction of the idea is possible. If nothing else, you see the creative, adventuresome side of yourself emerge and hopefully find some element in the thoughts as possible. More on that later.
First, see where your mind goes when you are fearless. For most of us, it involves big steps: -move to another city I LOVE
-go for the job I truly want
-return to school
-ask for the promotion
-dive into the scary and unresolved conflicts in my relationship with ______
-plan a trip to a part of the world I truly want to see
-trust my big idea for ______
-take risks in the parts of my life where I hesitate, hold myself back, but don’t want to
Once you have your fearless goals on paper, see if you can rank order them … If you had to pick just one, what would it be? Now two, three…..
Take your priority goal and tease it out on paper. Consider the most simple, least risky, least expensive STEP to take. Write it down. Now keep going. The idea is to actually DO something that would slowly lead you in the direction of accomplishing even a few aspects of your goal. Use moving to another city as an example. First steps might include ……learn as much about the city as possible: read about it — google it; visit for a long weekend if you’ve never actually been there; vacation there for an extended period of time; explore the opportunities for the work you do or the education you want or possibly the retirement you seek. See if you can identify 10 steps to take, and you may have a clear sense of how much more realistic it is OR some modified version of the goal that is still satisfying!
But beyond that level of satisfaction, you might discover that taking one small and realistic step at a time actually MOVES YOU TO THE POSSIBILITY OF THE FINAL GOAL….regardless you will have made progress!
When you bump into steps that suggest you really need outside resources to go further, be sure to write that down. One example: relationship conflicts might involve more than reading a book about conflict resolution…you might want to consult a therapist or a relationship coach. Remember you are trying to bring both fearless energy and all available resources to your goal setting.
Sometimes this process helps you discover ways you actually hold yourself back from a realistic goal or a portion of a goal. Be as clear as you can about what you TELL YOURSELF about your goal: things like: it’s silly; it’s unrealistic; what could I be thinking; get a grip on reality….These thoughts stop us in our tracks. Fearless thinking moves beyond such negativity…….try it and see what new goals or resolutions turn up on your list…. and have a HAPPY AND HEALTHY NEW YEAR!