• WELL BEING THEORY….ANOTHER LOOK AT HAPPINESS

    Positive Psychology has become a solid aspect of research in the area of happiness and well-being. And Professor Martin Seligman has spent many years writing and researching what contributes to our well-being … thus our happiness.  I highly recommend that for a deeper dive into the subject you read: FLOW and check out his websites on Positive Psychology…

    For now, here’s a summary of his thinking on well-being theory…..

    He identifies what he calls the PERMA MODEL and defines five elements for your reflection, analysis, and application to your life.  PERMA stands for: Positive Emotion; Engagement; Relationships; Meaning; and Accomplishment

    First, Positive Emotion. We can all find ways of altering thinking and behaving to move ourselves in a positive direction. And we need positive emotion for well-being.  Being as present in our lives — to this moment, this hour, this day, the current experience is one way of accomplishing this. If we DWELL on the past (and we all have painful, disappointing experiences in our past) or even perhaps “wallow” in it, we will feel depressed.  And if we project too far into the future in an effort to control or orchestrate what’s coming, and DWELL on that, we will feel anxious.  Working on and describing and healing from past experiences is necessary for most of us and that is different from dwelling… It’s problem solving.  And planning ahead, being organized is different from “fretting” and worrying…it’s a balance of focus. So recognizing the positive emotions we feel is essential. And it’s a lovely sweet spot in between the dwelling and the fretting!

    So focus on what feels positive for you. Make room in your life for the positives.

    Engagement. Consider engagement as the opposite end of the continuum of “doing nothing.” Or reflect on whether you have ever said the “busier I am, the more I get done.” When we know our strengths we can engage in work that makes us feel more confident and alive.  Seligman uses the word “flow” — that moment in time when you are so in the present, truly engaged in a task or activity that you lose track of time.  So ponder the things that absorb and inspire you, and use energy to put more of those things in your life — so you FEEL engaged.

    Relationships. Although people have a wide range of the actual NUMBER of relationships they want and need, we all need connected relationships — healthy ones. We need to talk, share, love, affirm and be affirmed.  We need community. And life is enriched by the positive relationships we cultivate.  Make time for those special people in your life, and if you have negative, draining relationships, give thought to what you might do to change those relationships.

    Meaning. Think about what you value most in the world.  It could be family or a great cause or political  belief, a strong faith, or a charity….and if you are fortunate, it could be the work you do.  If we believe our work, our volunteer efforts, or the strength of a family, is worthwhile, we have a greater sense of well-being and confidence in how we are living life.

    Accomplishment. Everyone needs to feel “I did a good job.”  So setting goals, working toward them, and then celebrating the accomplishment creates well-being. It’s healthy to feel good about yourself and be able to affirm yourself — and hear from others — that was “a job well done.”  So list your goals…set your compass in the direction of each…see what skills you may need to add to get where you want to go.  Then go for it.  Staying positive and focused simply feels good.

    Now on top of PERMA, throw in a daly dose of mindfulness.  If you are paying attention in a thoughtful, focused manner to what you are doing and how you are doing it, you’ll see what to change, add, and reinforce!  It works!

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