I’m doing self reflection during this cold weather and I always like to THINK reflection generates awareness, new ideas, and possible change. What I continue to discover is that a positive outcome depends “a lot” on the content of the reflection!
So here are some personal thoughts and even disclosures.
I’m a pretty consistent and reliable workout/exercise person. It’s a largely built in habit from being involved in some form of athletics early in life, and after stopping competitive sports, continuing some form of running, race walking, swimming, Pilates, weights. Part of that pattern is built in because it’s just that — built in/habitual — like brushing your teeth. And the biggest motivator is realizing how good I feel physically and/or health wise when I continue.
I’m sometimes asked if I ever “get off track”…. I do! I’m sometimes a victim of slothfulness! It works like this: I have a morning scheduled for paper work, some necessary reading –with no time pressure. I sleep just a little bit later. Have a second cup of coffee while watching or listening to early morning news. On my way for more coffee, I notice an interesting article I saved from the Sunday New York Times and sit down to read it. Back in my upstairs office, I pick up the professional literature I need to read and am distracted by a phone call. That makes me decide to check emails. I’ve already meditated earlier in the morning so I’m pretty relaxed. No rushing.
Now my mind starts to work — thoughts I’m familiar with but typically “master” and get going. They run a little like this: “no pressure feels so good, maybe I can skip my exercise routine. Everyone needs a break from exercise AND from horrible paper work. Maybe there’s a good movie on TV or a good Charlie Rose interview I’ve recorded. And nothing horrible is going to happen if I skip the plan I had for the morning.”
Thoughts like this are challenging for me. I’m “reflecting” on doing something that resembles self care….taking a break. And if you read the thoughts carefully, they aren’t terribly negative. They are however, the kinds of thoughts that come from my personal form of slothfulness! — It’s a form activated by NO PLAN/NO ROUTINE. It’s also motivated by knowing that relaxation, simply doing very little, or altering typical routine can be refreshing. So what’s the down side? It’s knowing myself well enough to realize I’m kidding myself about the schedule and the necessity to get something done. It’s also a decent indicator that I’m a little more stressed than is good. PLANNED time off, and what I call mindful relaxation is a good thing to build in. The kind of slothfulness I’m describing is my avoidance.
Consequently I push myself a bit to examine what’s going on. First, how much time has gone by that is a bit miss-directed and random, and not really accomplishing much? Next what were the projects and time lines I intended to address? And how does the randomness build on itself? For me it’s the lack of schedule/structure that creates slothfulness….. or perhaps you like randomness better…..
Doing nothing is truly good for us. But doing nothing when there is a need TO DO SOMETHING is different. But the point: once the behavior begins, it builds on itself. That just means anything can become a habit. So if I examine the “pieces” of slothfulness that become habitual I can learn a bit about how to create good habits. It’s a little like using the thing you do that most upsets you as information on how to change that to something you really want to do — to build into your day/week. A big part of this process is to be aware and then write down “what you tell yourself about what you are doing/not doing.”
My slothful mornings begin when I alter my routine that’s pretty regular. The luxury of time on this day allowed the thought: I can exercise later because I’m not rushed. That’s the trap. And for me, that first step out of routine is a negative for me. If I had exercised first thing like I usually do, then my mind would have shifted into the habitual things I typically do to start my work day. But instead of seeing a client or heading for a meeting, I would have pretty automatically sat down at my desk to tackle tasks — AND at a relaxed pace because of having planned plenty of time. So it’s the very first step I take that I examine. You might try that. And you can also take time to examine steps two and three and four. Look for WHEN you head in a direction you did not intend. Learn from the errors. Learn from the thought patterns. It’s not about being hard on yourself. The tree sloth is a great visual for how good it feels to do nothing. It’s a matter of knowing the difference between when it’s good for you and when it’s just a poor choice. And be aware of your thoughts. Are they truthful or rationalizations? For example, right now I’m capable of thinking my slothful morning is a good thing. And sometimes I truly can’t REFLECT myself into a realistic assessment. Regardless, right now I’m on my way to my treadmill!