I’ve been frozen in my thinking and feeling on this subject of so much loss and grief that is “buried” in or “surrounded by” the craziness of our politics. The necessity to be good human beings continues to be presented to us every time there is another completely senseless shooting of groups of adults and children or individuals somewhere in our country. And yet we do not take action as a country, as individuals to join together to make change that “goes anywhere” or sticks. I’m certainly not saying people aren’t trying. There are many committed, caring individuals organizing and making the effort yet something gets in the way. What is that about?
This morning as I have been reflecting on what to write about the horrific loss of nine precious and innocent lives in Charleston, about what paralyzes actions that work to decrease so much violence, the thing that makes the most sense to me is fear. My stimulus for that thought surfacing? Just, a few minutes ago, I saw on the morning news that Mitt Romney issued a strong, declarative, straight forward statement — with no room for misinterpretation — to take down the confederate flag. My interpretation of that? A strong, decent, caring individual decided to NOT fear the wrath of a large group of conservative southerners who “threaten” any politician who “crosses that boundary” — and that boundary appears to be a belief in a “right to declare” hatred and separation in the symbolism of a flag.
As I “tweeted” support of Romney’s statement, I touched my own level of discomfort. Speaking out at all — in any form of media — has become hazardous. It is not easy for most people to take a stand against a group that is large enough to push back in a powerful, punitive manner. We each need to reflect/examine our own fears for standing up, speaking out when the subject is as controversial as racism. And politically that means losing elections. Consequently candidates for office have failed to “name” what happened in Charleston — backing away from the reality of racism, hate, the failure of our efforts for secure civil rights, equity in education, wages, health care, and the need for gun control.
Leadership that faces the fear of negative and judgmental push back is needed at every level of our systems. Leadership that takes a stand without diminishing others is obviously challenging — and necessary. Fighting hatred with more of the same does not work, yet caring about those with differing views is complex enough to cause many to falter. We need training/education in non violent communication, in conflict resolution, in talking across differences to reach resolution and equity. We need highly visible leaders who model taking a stand for what is good and decent and right. And change needs to come in every system — from the family to the corporation to the government. And individually, I do think every one of us has the opportunity every day to model good and healthy ways to simply go through the day. Each of us knows something about some important area of life to be able to make a contribution.
I think the challenge is to reflect on what action each of us could resolve to take to make a difference. Clearly most of us don’t possess the “reach” of Mitt Romney for impact; however I believe we tend to underestimate the power of simple acts of thoughtfulness and kindness that reach across barriers in communication and connection. I’m challenging myself to be as mindful as possible about ways to make a difference and I invite everyone to do the same. And if you come up with a great idea or plan, I’d like to hear about it. Let’s finally do what we are capable of doing to create healthy and just and safe systems.