• ANOTHER HIGH PROFILE SUICIDE…. WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO US?

    My first reaction to the suicide of Robin Williams was shock and sadness. The feelings hit me hard — like a double blow to my midsection. I hate loss. I hate the depression that reaches such a profound level that the individual looks for ANYTHING to ease the pain, sadness, anxiety, agitation, unhappiness, and desperation. The “anything” is something that causes further pain….but not at first. When severe depression leads to drinking, drugs, cutting, burning, dangerous behavior of any kind, the initial feeling is relief. It’s a distraction from the pain the individual is running from. And the effort to impose and inflict an alternative form of hurt feels momentarily as if it helps. It’s self deception because the relief is short lived. But the drive to reduce the pain is real. That’s the bottom line reason each of us needs to try to understand what the people we love and care about are going through. To ASK. To be brave enough to step up and let the person know we care…. that we see them, are listening, and are trying to understand.

    The up front conversations are the things that can often head off the movement from mild depression to extreme….the kind that can lead to suicide. Can we stop someone from the act of suicide? No, not when they remove themselves from others and are alone and determined to do it. We CAN be there early in the process to be supportive and loving as the person works to understand and heal from whatever difficulty they are facing. We can’t fix people but we can support and love and care and BE there for them.

    Asking “what if” is a horrible question to be faced with. That’s the reason it’s good to face in when there’s a problem — even if you’re not sure it’s serious — trust your doubts and face in — lean in. It’s scary and it doesn’t always work. But it’s worth a try.

    And if you are concerned about someone in your life — OR if you yourself are facing troubling levels of depression, talk to someone. It’s hard, but most people are open to a conversation. And after Robin Williams suicide you will find people even more open to talking about stress and depression — about being informed and having ideas of what to do with and for others and for yourself. It does not help to hypothesize about the reasons Williams or anyone else commits suicide….because we can only know, for sure, what’s going on with another person when we hear directly FROM THAT person. However, we can talk about what WE feel and how we handle difficult and challenging life stresses.

    Take care of yourself. Reach out to others. And email or call if you have questions.

    Watch this informative video addressing depression and suicide. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=AbR3Jkvbhmo

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